I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
