About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
