Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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