Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
There's a naked man in my car right now.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
