All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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