My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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