Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Randomize
