p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
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