Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
