yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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