who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Randomize
