Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
