I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize