yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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