I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
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