walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
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