i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
don't judge my taste in strippers
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
