I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
