Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
