So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
