Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
