I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I love you. Go after that dick
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
