I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
