Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Randomize
