ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
We have so much sex to catch up on
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize