I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
