how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
