She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
