You're a womanizer and a bitch.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
