Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
