apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize