jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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