I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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