Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
