you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
