woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
