But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
