She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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