I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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