I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
this boner is exhausting
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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