would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
