Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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