Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Im part way to drunk.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
