I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
