i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
