thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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