so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
