Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
