just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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