I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
