dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
