so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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