apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
