i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
