john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
You may now shotgun with the bride
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
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