Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(936): View more from Texas

im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...

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(702): View more from Nevada

he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.

(1-919): View more from North Carolina

and you succeeded.

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(502): View more from Kentucky

All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.

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(513): View more from Ohio

I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.

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(440): View more from Ohio

I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...

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(650): View more from California

all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.

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(714): View more from California

Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.

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