Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
