Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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