And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
